“Seek the kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need.” Matthew 6:33 (NLT)
As you can already tell, I am taking a momentary pause from John 9 in fear of rushing through that important chapter. I felt a nudge on my heart to share a part of my journey with you. In just this past week, I have seen both little and big blessings from God in many different ways. So take this time with me to reflect on Jesus’ words in Matthew.
Worry has always been a struggle of mine, even in my younger years. I distinctively remember the first big report assigned in 4th grade, and I immediately went to stress mode. Despite the constant encouragement and help from my parents, I just could not see past the enormity of this California report. My dad will never forget hearing me wale and cry from our spare bedroom because of this report. (Don’t worry, I ended up finishing it 2 weeks early.) Thank God that’s over!
Yes, I have experienced more stress in my life than just the California report, so it hasn’t been all flowers and rainbows since. Most recently, I was told by my school district at the beginning of March that they would no longer be hiring counselors back the following year. To say I was disappointed would be the understatement of the century. In less than 30 minutes, my entire plan for the next few years went up in flames.
As I thought about this passage, it seemed fitting to what I was currently experiencing. There are/were so many layers to everything I was feeling that I can’t even quite put it into words. Sometimes it just hits you like a ton of bricks and you’re left speechless. After finding out I had no future at the school I had grown to absolutely love, I felt a nudge to spend more time with the Lord. I decided to start waking up 30 minutes earlier and do my quiet time in the morning.
In just the past few weeks, I’ve accepted a temporary job, had vacation time, and the little, tiny details that I’ve prayed about- God has answered. He has taken care of every single worry that I prayed about concerning my job.
“These things dominate the thoughts of unbelievers, but your heavenly Father already knows all your needs.” (verse 32 NLT) I’m challenged when I see a verse like this. Unbelief is a sticky situation. It can creep up on you and send you down a spiral of emotions. There are still many things that need to get worked out; but, for now, I’m clinging to the promises of my Father and watching His blessings unfold right before my eyes because He knows all of my needs.
Friends, if you don’t hear the Lord’s voice, keep pressing in. If you are struggling with anxiety or unbelief, you are not alone. Journaling has been powerful for me even if it is 5 minutes. Sometimes we often equate journaling with writing down every thought and prayer for hours on end. But, it doesn’t have to be so. There’s beauty in writing them down and seeing them being fulfilled. The Lord knows your heart, so even if it’s short and sweet for the journaling part and you talk to Him throughout the day, it is all the same in His eyes- quality time with His child.
be free. xo